These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. ...
Q: What are the four worst words you could hear during a round of golf? A: It”s still your turn! ...
Q: What”s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A: When a golfer lies he doesn”t have to bring anything home to prove it! ...
Amateur golfer: someone who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging and once again after swinging. Oxymoron: an easy par three. A hack: when your divot flies further than your ball. Bad golfer: someone who can take strokes off his game only with an eraser. Duffer: the only guy in the world who has an ...
Three duffers were out golfing with the club pro one day. The first duffer teed off and hit a dribbler about 60 yards. He turned to the pro and asked, “What did I do wrong?” The pro replied, “Loft.” The next golfer teed off and duck hooked the ball into the woods. He asked the ...
Did you hear about the local country club that was determined to be politcally correct? Instead of saying the golfers have handicaps, they say they”re stroke-challenged! ...
Two Men were leaving church on a bright Sunday morning. “You know,” said the first friend, “I can always tell who the golfers are in church.” “How’s that?” asked his friend. “It’s easy,” he said. “Just look at who is praying with an interlocking grip.” ...
BIT – A word used to describe computers, as in “Our daughter”s computer cost quite a bit.” BOOT – What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skill. BUG – What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. ...
A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they donÃt stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he ...
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, youÃre the new father of twins! “The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company. ” The ...