A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man,†the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” ...
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”‘ ...
Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic? A: Because they can”t fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds. ...
Q: Why don”t elephants use cellular phones? A: So the rest of the world won”t know their plans. ...
Q: Does an elephant ever forget? A: Only if you loan him money. ...
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says “I will grant each of you three wishes.” The bear says “I wish all the bears in the forest were females.” *poof* It’s done. The rabbit says “I wish for a ...
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder; it would be genocide! ...
I wish you were all here. I don’t like to think there is more! ...
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they’re your equals. ...
People can’t say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority! ...