I haven’t Spoken in Months
I haven ‘t spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don ‘t like to interrupt her. ...
Archive for March, 2009
Women Saying Something Smart
How do you know when a woman ‘s about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me …. “ ...
Women and Small Feet
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. ...
Picking up a Woman in a Laundromat
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you. ...
True Love
A woman and her friend are sitting together having lunch after one of the women ‘s husband ‘s funeral service. The friend asks the woman if her husband had any life insurance, and the widow answered her. “Well, he had $10,000 in life insurance, but it is all gone. ” “All gone? “, the friend ...
Road Hazard
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard. As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could ...
Glazed
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn ‘t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking? ” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn ‘t help but notice your ...
Car Acronyms
AUDIA ccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs ImplementedAll Un-informed Drivers InsultedAll Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money Waster BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGE Dumb Old Dirty Gas EaterDrips Oil, Drops ...
Lady Sunbathing
A Lady was on a business trip. Since she was so tense from all the meetings, she decided she would go to the roof of the hotel she was staying in and sunbathe to help her relax. She went to the top of the hotel, stripped down, and layed face down on the roof. After ...
New Driver’s Licence
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I ‘ll bet you ‘re back there ...