Funny Jokes Blonde Jokes

Archive for April, 2009

Pray Hard

· Posted in Animal Jokes

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him,”Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say,” the priest inquired. They say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, “I ...

Punishment that fits the crime

· Posted in Animal Jokes

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks “why are you here?” The schnauzer responds, “I’m 17 years old. I don’t see or hear very well. I’ve been ...

A horse and a rabbit

· Posted in Animal Jokes

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes ...

A miserable rooster

· Posted in Animal Jokes

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got  singed off, so the wife made him some clothes ...

Top 15 Household Pet Dishes

· Posted in Animal Jokes

Top 15 Household Pet Dishes 15. Angelfish Cake 14. Hamster and Cheese on Rye 13. Chow Chow Mein 12. Bran Muffy 11. Eggs BenjiDict 10. Yorkieshire pudding 9. Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7. Shrimp Cockatiel 6. Fettucine AlFido 5. Chicken Poodle Soup 4. Turtlellini 3. Lhasa Thermidor 2. Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas 1. ...

The best book on elephants

· Posted in Animal Jokes

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.” The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant — a Personal Account.” The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of ...

Tarzania II

· Posted in Animal Jokes

‘What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind) ...

Tarzania

· Posted in Animal Jokes

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn”t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in ...

A veterinarian surgeon…

· Posted in Animal Jokes

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ...

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