A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him,”Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say,” the priest inquired. They say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, “I can see ...
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks “why are you here?” The schnauzer responds, “I’m 17 years old. I don’t see or hear very well. I’ve been having accidents ...
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse tied round his neck. He walks up to the meat counter and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be served. A man, who is already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and notices the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked ...
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud ...
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ...
Top 15 Household Pet Dishes 15. Angelfish Cake 14. Hamster and Cheese on Rye 13. Chow Chow Mein 12. Bran Muffy 11. Eggs BenjiDict 10. Yorkieshire pudding 9. Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7. Shrimp Cockatiel 6. Fettucine AlFido 5. Chicken Poodle Soup 4. Turtlellini 3. Lhasa Thermidor 2. Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas 1. I’ll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes ...
The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.” The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant — a Personal Account.” The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant’s Ear.” The Americans ...
‘What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind) ...
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn”t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?” Haha! You fooled ...
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is ...