Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A genie pops out. He says, “I will grant you each one wish, but there ‘s a catch. Whatever you wish for, a lawyer will get 2 times more than that. “The first guy says, “I want a ...
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. “Your honor, ” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine. ” “Why ? ” asked the ...
A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows: “Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow. “ ...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first, ” she said. “What does your mother do all day? ” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She ‘s a doctor. ” “That ‘s wonderful. How about you, Amie? ” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet ...
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl ‘s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave? ” “Of course not, dear. ” replied the mother, “Why would you think that? ...
A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, “What type of brain do you want? ” “What type? ” the woman asked. “Yes, ” replied the doctor. “There is a substantial difference in price. For example, ...
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor ...
Another outdated but still funny joke. 9.9999973251 It’s a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug 8.9999163362 It’s Close Enough, We Say So! 7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes 6.9999831538 You Don’t Need to Know What’s Inside 5.9999835137 Redefining the PC–and Mathematics As Well 4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really 3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful 2.9991523619 Why Do You Think ...
(A bit Outdated , but still fun.) DOS Beer Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, ...
Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor? How do you know if you’re addicted to the Net and losing touch with reality? Take the Net Addict’s Reality Test. Answer the following multiple choice questions and check ...