On Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a mule from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the mule the next day. On Tuesday Luke drove up and said, “Sorry, Fred, but I have some bad news. The mule died.” Fred: Well, then, just give me my money back. Luke: Can’t ...
There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, “Can I help you?” The duck said, “Have got any grapes?” The bartender said, “NO! This is a bar and we don’t sell grapes.” The duck walked out and then he came in the next day ...
A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man ‘s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog ‘s head. Having watched what happened, a passerby said, “Say, why are you patting him? That dog just peed on ...
Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn”t, he got hit by a car. ...
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man,†the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” ...
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”‘ ...
Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic? A: Because they can”t fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds. ...
Q: Why don”t elephants use cellular phones? A: So the rest of the world won”t know their plans. ...
Q: Does an elephant ever forget? A: Only if you loan him money. ...
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says “I will grant each of you three wishes.” The bear says “I wish all the bears in the forest were females.” *poof* It’s done. The rabbit says “I wish for a ...