A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, the monkey starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them… grabs some sliced limes and eats them… then jumps up on the pool table, grabs ...
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. the wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and out number them?” ...
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. .. They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, ...
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Shit!†says the ant. “One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!†...
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I would like to ...
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some ...