One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call.Frank had just bought another beer and he didn ‘t want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: “I spit in my ...
A drunk walked into a tavern, sat down at the bar. He placed a small cardboard box on the bar, and ordered a beer. When the beer came, he opened the box, pulled out a tiny piano and bench and set them on the bar, then ordered another beer. When the beer came, he reached ...
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers like there ‘s a telephone in his hand, then puts his palm up against his cheek and begins talking. Suspicious, the bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn ‘t need any trouble here. The ...
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn ‘t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.Half-way up the stairs, he ...
There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the ...
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the ...
There were Two guys at a bar. They were making small talk and realized a couple of interesting things… this is how their conversation went. Guy 1:Â Yah..I”m originally from Dublin, Ireland Guy 2:Â Really?! Me too! Guy 1:Â I went to O”Malley Highschool. Guy 2 : I did too! What year did you graduate? ...
There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, “Can I help you?” The duck said, “Have got any grapes?” The bartender said, “NO! This is a bar and we don’t sell grapes.” The duck walked out and then he came in the next day ...
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man,†the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.” ...
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, the monkey starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them… grabs some sliced limes and eats them… then jumps up on the pool table, grabs ...