Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…but it’s ...
Whats the differance between a camera and a sock??? A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes… ...
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese peopleb ombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.” The ...
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament. Shortly, he received this reply,”For HEAVEN”S SAKE Dad, ...
Why isn”t Mexico in the olympics?… Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border.. ...
A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I thought I saw her move! ...
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) ...
1. Make race car noises when people get on and off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, “Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!” 4. Whistle the first 7 notes of “It’s a Small ...
1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, “I didn’t know I had one of THOSE!” 2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over. 3. ...
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.” Drum on every available surface. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Staple papers in the middle of the page. Ask 800 operators for dates. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI ...