Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A genie pops out. He says, “I will grant you each one wish, but there ‘s a catch. Whatever you wish for, a lawyer will get 2 times more than that. “The first guy says, “I want a ...
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. “Your honor, ” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine. ” “Why ? ” asked the ...
A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows: “Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow. “ ...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first, ” she said. “What does your mother do all day? ” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She ‘s a doctor. ” “That ‘s wonderful. How about you, Amie? ” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet ...
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl ‘s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave? ” “Of course not, dear. ” replied the mother, “Why would you think that? ...
A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, “What type of brain do you want? ” “What type? ” the woman asked. “Yes, ” replied the doctor. “There is a substantial difference in price. For example, ...
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! ...
What do a lawyer and sperm have in common? They both have a one in a million chance of being human. ...
A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow found two pillowcases full of cash in the attic. “The old fool,” she thought, “I knew I should ...
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver”s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that ...