Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all ...
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of ...
’10. It doesn”t snow in Hell. 9. Everyone has heard of Hell. 8. It”s more fun getting into Hell. 7. You can”t fail out of Hell. 6. At least you can sleep in Hell. 5. Hell is forever, college just seems like it. 4. People smile in Hell. 3. You only have to sell your ...
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you. 2. You chew on your roommate ‘s fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it ‘s not plugged in. 5. You can ‘t remember your second cup. 6. You have a picture of your ...
1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your potted plants stay alive. 3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. 4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 5. You have to pay your own credit card bill. 6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal. 7. You ...
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss ” makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh! ” 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy. ” 5. ...
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike? “The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode ...
How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb? 30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning. ...
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, “We ‘re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one ...
A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping? “The German responds, “I will take oil! ” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ...