Computer Dictionary Part I
BIT – A word used to describe computers, as in “Our daughter”s computer cost quite a bit.”
BOOT – What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skill.
BUG – What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: What computer magazine companies do to you after they get you on their mailing list.
CHIPS – The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
COPY – What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time playing games on your computer and not enough time studying.
CURSOR – What you turn into when you can”t get your computer to perform, as in “You %@& computer!”
DISK – What goes out of your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
DUMP – The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install games on your computer.
ERROR – What you made when you first walked into a computer showroom “just to look.”
EXPANSION UNIT – The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.
FILE – What a secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day”s work in 30 minutes.
FLOPPY – The condition of a constant computer user”s stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see “CHIPS”).
HARDWARE – Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven”t laid a finger on since getting your computer.
IBM – The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you”ll pay attention to them again.
MENU – What you”ll never see again after buying a computer because you”ll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
PROGRAMS – Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up.
RETURN – What lots of people do to their computers after they receive their first billing from their internet service provider.
TAB – What your friends pick up when they meet you for lunch because you spent all your money on new software.
TERMINAL – A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.
WINDOW – What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up.
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