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Resume Bloopers

· Posted in Office Jokes

These are from actual resumes: “Personal: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs. “I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.” “Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I’m a class act ...

WOW!

· Posted in Office Jokes

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of ...

Bosses

· Posted in Office Jokes

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory. My Boss said to me, “What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.” My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain. He’s given automobile accident victims new ...

Performance

· Posted in Office Jokes

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became ...

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