Eariler this week I went to the guy who invented the hokey pokey”s funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in,then took his left leg out,they put his left leg in and they shaked it all about. Then they put his right leg in and then his right leg out,they ...
‘The EPA is conducting a $700,000 dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in power. “Pollution? It”s those damn trees.” Jay Leno ...
If you messed up your life, you could press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit “any key” to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To ...
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head all went to an antique store and saw a beautiful old mirror. The lady working at the store said, “This is a magic mirror. You must say something true. And if it’s true, your wish will come true. If it’s not true, you will disappear.” The blonde, ...
Last week, I was grocery shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde woman right ahead of me. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the grocery bagger courteously asked the blonde woman, “Paper or plastic?” “It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “I’m bi-sacksual.” ...
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them. Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last year’s hide-and-go-seek winner. ...
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans. Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER? A: She didn”t like it because she couldn”t get MTV. Q: What do UFO”s and smart blondes have in common? A: You ...
A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.” “OH, NO!” exclaimed the blonde. But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. “Who ...
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art: Any computer you can”t afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. G3: Apple”s new Macs that make you say ”Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ...
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they”re in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?” Al replies, “Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we ...