An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, what”s that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That”s my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes.” “I”m sorry sir.”, said the ticket agent, “We don”t allow animals in the theater.” The old farmer went around the corner ...
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance. The second,a lion,based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him. ...
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country. One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!” The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, “Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!” The baby ...
A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, “The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?” The corporal replies, “On Fridays, they let us use the camels.” The lieutenent can”t beleive it. ...
A new lieutenant in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him quarters, he asks the corporal, “The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?” The corporal replies, “On Fridays, they let us use the camels.” The lieutentent is disgusted, but says ...
A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won’t budge. The woman stops and says, “Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?” The legionarie tells her the camel won’t budge but she’s welcome ...
Q:Â What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it? A:Â None. It just lets out a little wine. ...
A fellow walks into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, Shingles. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later a nurse’s aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, Shingles. She took down his ...
Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, gynecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there’s a guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be ...