A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won’t budge. The woman stops and says, “Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?” The legionarie tells her the camel won’t budge but she’s welcome ...
Q:Â What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it? A:Â None. It just lets out a little wine. ...
A fellow walks into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, Shingles. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later a nurse’s aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, Shingles. She took down his ...
Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, gynecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there’s a guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be ...
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try ...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you thinking about?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of ...
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory. My Boss said to me, “What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.” My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain. He’s given automobile accident victims new ...
When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human. When doing something without being ...
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. Things went along pretty ...