Funny Jokes Blonde Jokes

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none. ...

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it. ...

I hear you pick your friends — to pieces!! ...

Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people’s hair. ...

Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. ...

If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. ...

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. ...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, the monkey starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them… grabs some sliced limes and eats them… then jumps up on the pool table, grabs ...

James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t ...

A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?” “I was swept overboard during a ...