Funny Jokes Blonde Jokes

‘What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind) ...

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn”t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in ...

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, ...

Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no ...

It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one ...

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and apply gentle pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and ...

1. I’ll turn capital punishment into a new game show! 2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. 3. I’ll finish what Bill started — the interns. 4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right? 5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP. 6. I promise no sex ...

Since I couldn’t find a good drinking game for the upcoming Presidential debates online, I decided to write one myself. There are three parts to this game. The first section applies to either candidate, and the next two are specific to John Kerry or George W. Bush. Part A – Either Candidate Have a small ...

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.The Godfather asked the accountant, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The accountant didn”t answer.The Godfather asked again, “Where”s the three million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney interrupted, “Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot ...

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it, and so he did. The guy walked out of the store, carrying the statue in his arms. Suddenly some rats started following him.He shrugged ...