Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn’t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.. “I sure do,” he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter. “Wow!” said his friend, “where did you get that ...
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where ...
A jew, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says “Is this a joke?” ...
A man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it’s for. The bartender replies, “Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar.” The man asks, “What are the tasks?”" First, you have to ...
A man walks into a pub with a neck brace around his neck. He asks for a pint. The bartender gives him one. Then the man asks, “Who’s in the lounge?” The bartender replies. “15 people playing darts.” The man says, “Get them a pint too.” Then he asks, “Who’s upstairs?” The bartender replies, “150 people at the disco.” The man ...
Two furniture salesman are sitting at the bar comiserating. One says, “Man! If I don’t move some furniture this month, I’m going to lose my ass.” The second salesman says, “Watch your mouth! There’s a lady sitting next to you. I apologize for my friend, m’aam.” The woman looks at him and says, “That’s OK. I’m a ...
A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.†50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker ...
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing “Tuff Enuff” by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. “That IS amazing!” says the bartender and gives the guy his free ...
‘This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it. Hey?, what’’s that?? ?A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist.? ...
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.” ...