A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him,”Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say,” the priest inquired. They say, “Hi, we’re prostitutes.... more
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane. The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks “why are you here?” The schnauzer responds, “I’m 17 years old. I don’t... more
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse tied round his neck. He walks up to the meat counter and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be served. A man, who is already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and notices the dog. The... more
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. He drives the... more
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got ... more
Top 15 Household Pet Dishes 15. Angelfish Cake 14. Hamster and Cheese on Rye 13. Chow Chow Mein 12. Bran Muffy 11. Eggs BenjiDict 10. Yorkieshire pudding 9. Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7. Shrimp Cockatiel 6. Fettucine AlFido 5. Chicken... more
The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.” The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant —... more
‘What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey. What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look! A herd of plums in the distance” (Jane is colorblind) Read More →
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn”t recognize... more
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At... more
About Me
There is something about me.. I love to make you laugh...I do not intend to offend anyone, please take these jokes in the right spirit. They are, after all, just jokes. I promise to get you fresh laughs every so often...